Sunday, December 18, 2011

day two

day two of my horror story does not get any better...i visited the grave of my beloved angels today and told them i was sorry...ugh just remembering everything makes me cry because i feel i should of been able to do more..somehow ....i replay over and over in my head how i should of just held my breath longer or run with my eyes closed through the smoke ...something that would of given me just a couple of more minutes to get to the other dogs....i told them that i tried over and over but the smoke was so thick the fire so strong....i remember how the smoke burned my nose,my throat,my chest...the terror i felt hearing them barking and not being able to pull them out i will never forget...everytime i hear a dog bark in my neighborhood i break down...i think everything is still too raw to live with...my bella is completely traumatized and her tail has stayed between her legs since the fire happened..brinks refuses to eat much other than what i've been able to convince him to.....i was able to find a scrapbooking box i had full of pictures of my angels that we were able to salvage....i will try to update my blog with the steps im taking as this is the only way i know how to process my feelings...i'll never forget how alone i felt that night when i was screaming for help for my doggies and all i could hear from my neighbors was that us humans were safe and that they were just dogs.... one the next day asked me what we did with the bodies ...when we told her that my husband buried them under our big tree in the backyard and i explained thats how i wanted it because i wanted them with me forever in my property where i can go and talk to them whenever i needed she was appalled. she asked if we were even allowed to do that....i guess she thinks im a weirdo now....then i see all your comments and they truly lift me up...they truly and absolutely help me get up in the morning after going through this....i woke up today hoping with all my heart that it was all a nightmare until i realized i was sleeping in my mother in laws garage she cleaned out for us to stay in temporarily.day two still brings bouts of bawling my eyes out and refusing to beleive my babies are gone...my husband says that i have to let them go... that they would'nt want me to be falling apart like this...but i am broken....

146 comments:

Yoda, Brutus & Ellie said...

We know that your babies know that you did everything you could to save them. We think it is fitting that they are buried close to you. They will always remain in your heart. We can't even imagine the pain that you are going through. We are keeping you and your family in our thoughts and prayers.

Pugs & Kisses,

Cindy, Yoda, Brutus & Ellie

Of Pit Bulls and Patience said...

You can only take things one day at a time- there is no way to make the grieving process go any faster. But your pups loved you, and they know you loved them. We're all here for you however you need us (especially if you need someone to slap your neighbor silly).

Maggie Mae said...

Your babies loved you and know you did all you could for them and I am sure that they want you not to blame yourself. Sending all of you love and prayers and holding you close to my heart. We are here for you and will continue to help you.

Blessings,
Janelle
Maggie Mae and Max

Two Grad Students and a Pittie said...

My only thought is that we all know dogs are so forgiving and move on, and thats what you must do. Our thoughts are with you.

Nola said...

You did everything and more you could for them. I truly don't know what to say to this post except I cry and ache for you. We love you
Love and prayers
Dachshund Nola

Amber DaWeenie said...

You did everything that you could do. What happened was in God's plan and there was nothing you could do to change that. He apparently had a job for your angels and called them "home". When he made the call, they answered. Avoid that neighbor for the time being. They won't be much help to you during the grieving process. Listen to your heart and follow what it says to you because that's where your five angels are now and will remain safe there until you meet again one day.

Love,
Linda
From DaWeenies of Florida

houndstooth said...

We've been really busy and away from the computer for a couple of days, but I heard about what happened and I wanted to say that I am so incredibly sorry. There's no good way to lose beloved pets, but some ways are certainly more devastating than others. I know that right now, there's nothing I could say to ease your burden, but please know that we are thinking of you and sending our prayers!

Khyra And Sometimes Her Mom said...

As I've been telling you, they know -

Please don't doubt it - EVER -

AND, please keep using your blog as therapy -

Each day will bring new emotions - consistent with the EKR's Five Stages of Grief usually related to Death and Dying -

We aren't professionals but we have good ears and big furry hearts!

River said...

I can't imagine the pain. It sounds so horrible. I have the same need--to process pain through writing. Of course it's perfectly reasonable to have your babies with you forever. I bury mine on my land even though it's illegal. Please know that we are thinking of you here and praying that you will be able to achieve some peace in your heart. You did the best you could in a terrible situation.

love & wags,
River & mom Stephanie

Frankie Furter said...

You have come to the right place for TOTAL and UNCONDITIONAL UNDERSTANDING.
We UNDERSTAND that you want your babies RIGHT THERE... where they were LOVED and HAPPY and CARED FOR!!
When some foolish person says something foolish like that to you... just SMILE at them and think.. "that poor soul doesn't have a CLUE".
You have HUNDREDS of Blogville Residents In your Corner.
Your Blog is FULL of supportive and UNDERSTANDING comments... and OUR Blogs are TOO.
You know that Bella and Brinks feel the Loss and are working through their grief also.
I was thinking about what you said about sleeping in a Garage. HUMMMMMMM let us think Back about 2,011 years and who was sleeping in Less than Glamorous Location.. I believe Garage is a modern day word for STABLE.
What I am getting at is... I do NOT believe the Location matters.. it is the FAMILY that is important.
We are with you.. no matter WHERE you and the baby and Josh and Brinks and Bella lay your head.
Blogville is your EXTENDED FAMILY.

Diane said...

I know without a single doubt that you did everything humanly possible. But I also know what you are saying. It is human nature to doubt yourself, but please rest assured your babie did not doubt you or your love. I too have cried for you and your babies for the last two days. I tried to share with my Mom tonight (a fellow pittie lover) what had happened to you but I had to give up the words would not come. The pain I felt me my heart was physically painful, like I could breathe and I know that is but a tiny fraction of what you are feeling. Please take comfort from hwo much love is coming your way from out in Blogville, you are not alone.
Diane

Dog Foster Mom said...

You are surrounded by people who understand that they are not just dogs, they are members of your family, and losing them is heartbreaking. You are surrounded by love and prayers and the desires of so many people to offer you comfort during this horrible time. Your dogs never doubted your love for them, not even for a second. They are at peace now, and I pray that you also feel God's peace.

H Ski said...

I think you did a wonderful thing burying your babies under a big tree. I know Lola loves being outside, and I imagine yours are the same way. And I think it will be comforting knowing they are always close and you can go talk to them and be close to them whenever you need. There is nothing strange about that. That is love.

You did wonderful things for your babies. And I know you did everything you possible could to get them out. Please take care of yourself and know there are many sending their thoughts and prayers into the universe for you.

Cheyenne -Millie said...

We are so sorry to read this sad times you are having. We will be praying for you. We have the kitties (from before) buried in the yard by the fence. It is good to have them near.

Two Pitties in the City said...

Like Dog Foster Mom said, we all understand how important each of your dogs were to you and how they are family. I also think the most important thing to remember, is that you saved each of your pups from desperate situations. Living with you they had happy and amazing lives. Every day. And that was because of you. They know how much you did for them, and watching over you now, they would just want you to be happy and safe.

Berts Blog said...

My Vickie and I had just started to follow you before this horrible thing happened to you.

Tonight she was a the most amazing concert with the most amazing angelic voices.

Through out the concert her thoughts were about you and the pain you are going thru.

Know that so many people are in your corner in anyway they can be.

Prayers, good thoughts and love are filling the earth for you.

WE don't know any words that will help, just know that we are sorry.

So Sorry
Bert and My Vickie

In Black and White said...

While we can't understand what you're going through, we all understand that dogs are so much more then pets. They're family.

You will get through this somehow and there is a whole community here to support you in whatever you need to do to make it through each day.

Our thoughts are with you.

mayziegal said...

Hmmmmm...I wonder what your neighbor lady would think if she knew that the ashes of my 3 precious cats were sitting on top of my dresser? Of COURSE you want them close to you! Why wouldn't you? They were and are your family.

I have spent much of this year in mourning, having lost my father and my sweet cat, Ripley. And here's what I know. You HAVE to give yourself time to grieve, to cry, to be angry. And yes, at some point you have to move on. But that point is not now. And the fact is, only you can decide when it's time. It simply takes as long as it takes. It's OKAY to grieve and it's important to do so. It's part of being human and loving deeply.

Another thing I know is that it's normal and natural to feel guilty and wish you had done things differently. But Sandra, if you had, your son might not have a mother. And as horrific as this is, that outcome would have been unthinkable. You did the absolute best you could do and that's all anyone CAN do. Believe me, your dogs KNOW you did what you could. They loved you and they KNOW you loved them. They know and they love you still. Just as we all do.

Amber

bichonpawz said...

You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. You are doing all the right things...taking it one step at a time. I'd like to join the other blogger who said they'd slap your neighbor. Sending love and strength.
xoxo Jeanne, Chloe and LadyBug

FinleytheWestie said...

Lotsa hugs from your fellow Texans up here in Dallas. We can't imagine the depth of your sadness... just know that there are lots of people praying for you and your angels...

Tweedles -- that's me said...

I am sending you sugar from my lips, the lips of TWEEDLES. Can you look my way, and see me right now?
I am also sending you bubbles of healing and love. Let the bubbles swirl around you.
I must tell you something. Please keep talking to us. Tell us what your heart is feeling. It will help you heal- and us to heal too.
Your fur babies never doubted for one second- that you did not do everything you could for them. God had already taken them- and they knew how much you tried,- they could see you and I know they were trying to say- its okay mom.
You did everything you could.
And thank goodness your wee one still has you as a mama.
I wish I could help you.
You did the right thing to have the graves of your babies- in your yard- of course you did!
That lady is nuts.
I send you my sugar, and love
xoxo
your tweedles

Declan said...

Hi.We've never come across your blog until we read about the terrible events you've been through on other blogs. We can't begin to imagine the heartache you're having to deal with but our thoughts and very best wishes are with you all. Deccy & Mums x

Ina in Alaska said...

Sandra, the world is wrapping you up in our arms and holding tight to you. Please know that if your blog friends were there at the fire with you we would have done all we could to help you.

Here we are now FOR YOU. Please hang on. One minute at a time. One hour at a time. One half day at a time and so on. Prayers are surrounding you. I am glad you buried your angels under the big tree. They will always be near. They will never forget your love for them. Even though you will not see them, they are near you. Always.

And please know: If you dream of them, if you see them in your dreams they are indeed visiting you. This is one of the most painful life events you will ever face. We are here with you. Never hesitate to ask us for anything. We are still holding you in our hearts. And we are holding all of your angels as well.

Sending love to Bella and Brinks. I am so sorry they are traumatized. Give them lots of sugars and love from us. xoxo

Sally said...

We are heartbroken at reading what has happened to your family. We know you did everything you could - we send you all our love.

Diana, Sally and Paddy

Pippa said...

Just what every other pup has barked, I guess I'm repeating it but we think the same. Of course we like to bury our animals in a place that is special to us, whether at the beach, in our garden (if we have one, or if we have space), and it is so right to do that and leave them with dignity.

Khyra's comment was so right. We are all here, and more than happy to read and comment. Writing can help people through trauma, and if we can support you this way we will.

Pippa and Katherine

Tom, Tama-Chan, Sei-Chan, Bibi-Chan, Gen-Chan, Vidock said...

We are glad to hear that your sweet friends will always be with you on your property. WE have those who have gone before in our garden and we love to sit with them and talk to them.

Woofs, Purrs, Neighs and Hugs,
The Poupounette Gang

Bailey Be Good! said...

We are so sorry you have to go through this. Please know my family and I are thinking of you and sending lots of prayers your way. Take things one day at a time. Your babies know you did all you could. They would not want you to think any other way.

Woofs & hugs, <3

~Bailey (Yep, I'm a girl)

STELLA and RORY from Down Under said...

Hello and I'm sorry to meet you under these terrible circumstances. It sounds like you did all you could and more in saving your family and trying to save your beloved pets. They knew the total love you had for them. Don't ever doubt that. They will be watching from the Rainbow Bridge with all our pets and sending you their love. Blogville is right behind you. Please take care. Love Carol (and Stella and Rory)

Whisppy said...

There is just no right thing to say right now that will make this any easier (is that even possible?) for you. Please ignore the words of the ignorant. We, your friends, are here for you, so say what you need and we will understand. Please know we are keeping you in our prayers and sending you endless hugs...

Maggie and Mitch said...

We are feeling your pain, Sandra and our hearts are just breaking for you. You did everything that you could and we're sure that your precious pups knew this. (((hugs)))

Rubie said...

Sandra - you don't know me, but I have heard so many wonderful things about you readin' the blogs. My mum and I are crushed to hear of your tragedy..... and our prayers and thoughts are with you. Be strong and rest assured that blogville loves you.... you and yours will get your strength back. Look after yourselves.

Rubie and her mum

Mango said...

I am glad your babies are in the back yard where they will be close to you forever. You did everything you could. The memory will certainly be burned into your head for a long time.

They know they were loved and would have wanted you to be safe. They will be watching over you always.

Mango Momma

A MilShelb Mom said...

I am so so so sorry. I cannot imagine the pain and loneliness you feel. Please know you are in our thoughts and prayers. They say time eases the pain. Just give yourself time to grieve and be thankful that your human family is safe. I know that doesn't make it all better, but I don't have any other advice to offer.
~Maggie (MilShelb's Mom)

~Kim at Golden Pines~ said...

I don't know what to say that others haven't already said so well. Just know that those like me, that you've never met, and hardly know you, are saying prayers for you to find comfort and peace and the strength to put your life back together and go on. We're here, and we understand...

Sarge said...

I think it's safe to say that there is a huge community here of furiends who understand how you feel and why you feel that way. Only your family and furiends matter when it comes to opinions. Your neighbor is to be pittied because she obviously has never felt the love that flows between a pet and a peep. Her loss. Your angel pups know exactly how much you love them and they understand everything completely. None of us in Blogville judge, ever, we only love one another. You are still in our thoughts and prayers.
Love,
Sarge and his Peeps

Remington said...

My dear friend....my heart goes out to you....I am sorry to hear this....you were RIGHT to keep them close to you....they were YOUR babies! For whatever reason this happened just know that God needed some help and he took the best. You are in our thoughts and prayers -- please take care -- the healing process takes a long time. But it will get easier....in time....hugs to you....

Finn said...

They know you tried everything, they really do. I hope you are able to find some peace knowing that you did all that you can do. We are keeping you in our thoughts!

fabulousflo said...

Every one of us who has one of these blogs understands how important our pets are. We're the ones who understand the whole tree in the backyard thing. Whilst we can't pretend to know your pain, without a doubt we would all be feeling the same pain, and we will do what we can to help shoulder yours. Sometimes in life it's a case of putting one foot in front of the other. :(

Raising Addie said...

You are very brave. You did everything that you could. Those that have never had a beloved pet will never understand what you are going through. But we do.

You are in our thoughts and prayers.
Lots of Luv & Kisses
Addie, Lucie and Hailey

Dawn said...

Absolutely they needed to be buried on your property. Of course they did. They will always be with you. I know that right now it is all fresh and raw and terrible. It will always be terrible, but it won't always be fresh and raw. Hugs to you from the whole world, and Katie and me.

Minna Krebs said...

One of life's hardest questions is "WHY?", because we don't have an answer.
I believe your sweet angels know you did all that was humanly possible for them.....and I am glad you have them all at rest together, and near you.
Love and hugs,

Jan's Funny Farm said...

I am so sorry for the lack of compassion exhibited by your neighbors and I pray for folks with compassion and understanding to put comforting arms around you and let you talk about your pain. Hugs!

Levi said...

There is nothing I feel I can say in this time for you other than you are in our thoughts and prayers and the puppies are now at the bridge watching over you. You will never forget them and neither will those of us here who have enjoyed thier stories. They will be remembered forever.
Thinking of you all....
Jackie, Brian, and Levi

HoundDogMom said...

My heart just breaks for you, but we know that you did everything you could possibly do to save your fur-babies, and burying them near you is absolutely OKAY. We do not see a problem with that at all. Your neighbor just can't understand what fur-babies mean to some of us and especially one that has gone through so much to rescue them. We continue to keep you in our thoughts and prayers and know that your dog blogville friends are here for you (both fur-babies and human).

We think keeping the blog updated will provide a good place for you to document some of your feelings. I just wish there was more we could do for you.

{{HUGS}} and GOD BLESS you and your family.

Sniffs, The HoundDogs

P.S..Please let us know if we need to come whack your neighbor.

Amish Stories said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your family, because that's what it really is when your an animal lover like yourself. I read about your story from Ina and as a devote pet lover i had to come over to your blog and write something to you, and your finding out now which neighbor is really and truly a good neighbor as well as being understanding and compassionate. I also have pets (family) and think sometimes when I'm away from home what's going on, and are they safe. If your not an animal lover then you just wont understand what its like to lose a small member of your family, and when its my time i would like to be in the part of heaven where our little guys are. I'm just so glad your other little loved ones were able to be saved, and since I'm a new member of a volunteer fire dept (fire police unit) i will be aware about the pets who may be inside a home. And i will do whatever i can do within my boundaries to save a animals life. Richard

Tucker, Daisy and Leo said...

We have never read your blog before, but seeing your story all over Blogville I had to come by and say what everyone else has, I am sure you did everything you could, and your babies know it, and know how much you loved them. I am so sorry for your loss, and praying that you can find some peace soon, it will be a long journey but you have much support.

Heidi, Tucker and Daisy

Pauley, the Mr. or the Mrs. said...

Again we can't imagine what you are going through, but dogs have a way of seeing into our soul & your babies know that you did everything that you could to save them. What happened was a horrible tragedy. We will continue to pray for you & your family & that your pain will start to ease.We also agree that it is totally natural to want to be close to your babies. All of ours at my Mom's house, because I have not found my permanent place yet.Your neighbor has obviously not experienced wholly the pure love of a dog.

Hilary said...

I saw your story on Pip's blog. I can't even imagine how hard this is for you, but don't blame yourself. Just reading this post, it is clear you did everything humanly possible to save your precious babies... I am sorry that you weren't sucessful. There are no words that can really help you through this horrible time, but hopefully you will receive some needed comfort and support. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Mr. Pip said...

I lost my cat of twenty years in September and his ashes now sit on my nightstand. Several people have made comments about this, but I don't care. They don't understand and they don't need to understand because this is what I NEED. Avoid your neighbor and anyone else who isn't going to support your grieving and healing. We all support your grieving and healing and will be there for you in any way we can.

I think it is beautiful that your babies are buried so close and that you can visit them and talk to them. I also know that their spirits will be with you always and are surrounding you and your family with love and light. Just close your eyes and feel their presence, they are there!

Kristin & Pip

brandi said...

Remember your babies are just over the Rainbow Bridge, and they will be waiting for you when it's your time. They are out of the fire and jumping and running and their hearts are happy for the time they had with you. They wouldn't want you to forget them, but they would want you to go on, and help other pitties, and they like that you buried them on your property and will remember them always. Have courage. We are keeping you in our prayers and keep sending ((hugs)).
And why your neighbor thought you were weird for burying your animals on your property? Some people are just uncaring idiots, that's why. Be kind to idiots. They are dumber than dirt and you should feel sorry for them. They'll never understand our love for animals and their love for us.

What Remains Now said...

I have no words to convey my sadness for what you are going through and the love I hope you can feel from your blogging friends. There are those that will not be able to understand your loss. They are the poorer for not having experienced the love of a pet that makes that loss understandable. Hugs, love and prayers for you and your family. We will continue to walk with you.

Jan said...

We were once in a fire like that and we know the helpless feeling you had. Dogs are most forgiving and they know you did all you could.

Sarah said...

I think it's OK to feel broken. What you are going through is difficult for any of us to even imagine. Part of the healing process is crying, feeling broken, feeling guilt. Those feelings are incredibly normal, even though the last thing you feel right now is normal. But you did all that you could do. Take comfort in knowing your babies are at peace looking down on you and their love will help you through these difficult days.

Marilyn from NY said...

I heard about your from Ina on Amish Stories and my heart breaks for you. You did all you could for them and they are heaven with two of my doggies who passed on. My friend has burried all her pets in the back yard-even from when her children were little. She has cats, hamsters and even gold fish burried there. When it came for my dog to go she said I could bury her there, but I had mine cremated and sitting on my TV. Another friend of mine had her Mother cremated when she passed and burried in her back yard under the tree. Your neighbors are nuts. Believe me your doggies don't blame you - they still love you-and will be in heaven when you time comes-waiting for you. You are in my heart and prayers.
With my Deepest Sympathy,
Marilyn

The Barn Door said...

My heart goes out to you! There aren't even enough or the right words to say to help. Thoughts and prayers to you.
Karen & the Hounds

NanaNor's said...

Words can not adequately express the sympathy I feel for you. Tear have come to my eyes time and again as I read of your tragedy. Your beloved pups are at peace and running free; I'm glad you buried them in your yard. I would have done the same thing-going back inside to try to save them but I'm glad you were safe. Only time will help ease your pain.
Big hugs to you today. Noreen & Reggie-dog

verobirdie said...

Some time ago, I followed Shelby's story. I can't believe this tragedy happened now. I can even start to imagine how you feel.
Your babies knew how much you love them, and they are watching you from above. They sure are glad you humans are all safe. Despite of the pain of today, they surely ould want you to let them go, not feel guilty, and get on rebuilding your life and smile again. You deserve to be happy again.
Take care!

rottrover said...

Sending love to you each day.

-Bart and Ruby

Deborah said...

I'm sorry...You do know your pets know that you did everything you could. You loved them and they know that. I hope you take some time to rest and heal with your family and Bella and Brink.
xxoo
Deborah

Cyber-sibes said...

Your sweet babies know you did all you could - surely they are sending you kissies and loving licks from the Bridge. Love never ends.

Keeping you in our hearts, too,

jack, moo & Mom Pat

Shea, Lola and Tucker said...

Your babies knew nothing but safe and unconditional love from you, you did everything humanly possible to help them, they know that. Grief is a long process and different for each person, it has no time limit. Grieve as long as you feel you need to do it. Only your own heart can tell you when it is time to move on. Burying your babies close to you is not only natural, but a beautiful and heartfelt last gift to them.
Keeping you in our thoughts.

Stella said...

Most heartfelt condolences to you in this terrible loss. Your beloved dogs, your home, so much and I pray that you can find a place to stay to recover from this terrible event. My heart and thoughts are with you and your family, Sandra,

Jo and Stella

C.l.o.v.e.r. said...

So terribly sorry for your loss and pain... cannot come up with words to express our condolences. Sending love and hugs your way. We agree that it is only fitting that your angels are buried close to you and you are most certainly not a weirdo - just a wonderful, loving mother.
Love Clover, Chewy & mom, Jess
xoxo

bigdogzola.com said...

I'm sorry for such tragedy - I hope you can find strength and comfort for your dogs who are still with you whilst you go through this very difficult time.
Thoughts with you
Zola & Vikki

Nubbin' Tails said...

Sandra take as much time as you need to process thru all this. There is no time table for grief. And if your neighbor thinks you are weird for wanting your babes close...that is her problem. Non-pet people can't understand the love that we get from our furry kids. I will do anything for mine. We moved because the new neighbor didn't like our dogs.

I can't even imagine the pain you are experiencing. We in blogville all know that you did everything you could have possibly done to save them. I do agree with people who said they would want you to forgive yourself.

We are all here to do whatever we can to help. And if all that is is to tell you your neighbor is whacked and that we understand they weren't "just dogs" but family members. We will...over and over and over as much as you need us too.

I have the ashes of 4 dogs and 3 cats that have passed over because I need to have them close. I move and they move.

Some friends of mine remind me regularly to be gentle with myself and take one day at a time. Some times it's one minute at a time and that is ok too.

All of us in blogville are here to love you and your family!

Hugs!

Mr. Nubbin's Mom (Carroll)

AC said...

Anyone who would question your response to this nightmare has never been blessed to know a dog. Please hear us in the chorus of thoughts and prayers.

Jazzi said...

I am so sorry and I know we cant even imagine the pain that you are going through. Our prayers are that God will comfort you during th is time and you did the best that you could. Your dogs were loved and they loved you too. They will always have a special spot in your heart, cuz thats where you keep your valuables!! We are all here for you.

Love
Diana, Jazzi and Addy

Beth said...

Sandra, Your story is heartbreaking. I have cried many tears for you and for your sweet Guerro, Coco Chanel, Shelby, Lucky and Tiger. I am so sorry for what you are going through. I am praying for peace, healing, comfort and that you and your family will be restored. Please do not feel guilty. You are so brave. You did everything humanly possible. We are so glad that you got out safely. Joshua needs his mommy! God bless you and your family and Brinks and Bella. Wish I could give you a great big hug and a shoulder to cry on.
Beth

Suka said...

Our love and prayers are with you and we are so deeply sorry for your loss. You loved your pups with all your heart, and that is what is important. You did all you could, and they know that. I think it is a wonderful gesture to bury them under your favorite tree, in your yard. I buried my dog in my yard and I talk to him often, so do not let someone put negative on it. It is beautiful to have your babies near you always. And they will be with you always, no matter what. They loved you, and you loved them, and love lives forever. Peace.

Suka and KrisAnne

Priscilla said...

we've been following Shelby's story sometime ago and we're so sorry that you've to go through this.

Sending our prayers and thoughts to you every day!

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

Thinking of you - and who cares what the neighbors think? Your angels will always be with you.

*hugs*

-Dr. Liz and Family

Two French Bulldogs said...

we are so shocked by this tragedy...we could barely read two lines without tears in our eyes. We really can not imagine...our pups would have been buried in the yard too. Best not to mention in to anyone around there.
Benny & Lily

Tucker said...

Sandra you are a very brave, very strong woman. I hope you realize how much you inspire the entire blog world. Your will to save dogs will never weaken and it shouldn't. They are not dogs, they are family. We don't have much time with them so we must treat them with respect and love them. Your are model Mom and every single pitbull that sits in a shelter right now is wishing that someone with as much love to give as you walks by and takes them home. You did what you could, we all know that. Sandra please give your extra love to your family. Bella and Brinks need you more than ever.

- tucker's Momma

waldobungie said...

I know without a doubt that you did everything you could to save them. Don't let yourself think for one second that you didn't do everything in your power to save them!

Bocci said...

We are so sorry to hear of your terrible tragedy. We think you did everything right-and don't worry about what anyone else (including your insensitive neighbors) think! We hope that time helps heal your heart and your spirit.

We are thinking of and praying for you and your family.

Rae said...

my heart is going to out to you. i lost my girl last year when she got away from me and got hit by a car. i still go over in my head what i could have done to save her. it has so so hard to let go and realize that no matter what, you can't change it now. I hope you can find peace soon. those babies KNOW you loved them, you gave them a fantastic life. try to remember that when you are feeling crushed by the pain. that helps me. and when people act like you are crazy for being so torn up about "just animals" know they are the crazy ones who have never had that special puppy love.

The Lee County Clowder said...

We have never met you, and never noo your doggies. But we're sure they noo you loved them, and that you tried you very best to get to them.

Don't let those fools neighbors get you down.

Sending mournfull purrrrrrsss and comforting purrrrayers to you and your woofers.

Southbaygirl said...

Your babies knew they were loved by you!!!! And they knew you did everything you could! Please don't blame yourself!!!!! You were there for them- they gave you their Hearst and you will always have them with you!!!!!

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your entire family, human and k9, every hour of the day!!

{{hugs}}

Penny, Velcro, Ceilidh, Jack Sparrow, Blossom and Skye

greygirl25 said...

I wish I had words of comfort for you. I know, I share your love with my own babies. Your heart will heal, it will never be the same but I know your heart and I am willing to bet that one day it will be full again with love. Your babies will guide you in the right direction and you will know.

Never mind your neighbors, you do what you need to do to get through each moment.

Sending healing white light and love from the gardens.

Beans4Biscuits said...

We have been away from Blogville for awhile and this is our 1st visit to your blog after we read of the devastation you have suffered.
I cannot even imagine the pain you are going through nor do I know of any way to make it better. But I do know for sure, after reading only a few of your posts, that your dogs are loved beyond reason. They knew it-never doubt that. Punishing yourself for not being able to accomplish the impossible will only tarnish the wonderful memories you have of your beloved babies. Remember the love you lavished on them daily and the love they returned-that is what counts.
Our prayers will be with you and your family (both human and furry) and hope you can all find some peace during this tragic time.

Cande & the Beans4Biscuits Pack

Groucho said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Groucho said...

We read about your terrible ordeal on Mayzie's blog. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. May each day be a little easier for you.

Groucho

Coco - The Princess said...

your babies know you tried and i applaud you for having their resting place in your yard where you can visit them. i know that there is no way to take away the horible memory of what you and your family have gone through, but please know that we love you and just like we followed your blog and shelby's story and both laughed and cried with you, we will continue to do so.

you are not alone. too many of us have called on power of the paw and we are here for you.

Hugs,

The Mommy

ForPetsSake said...

I want to reach through my computer and hug you. I wish I could say the right thing to make you feel better, but I don't know what that thing would be.
Time can be cruel and only give us a short time, but clearly you made the time you had with your babies the best you could. They love you still and are at peace. To hell with the neighbor and those that belittle our passion for our dogs. You have the right to grieve and mourn their loss. Please know we are here for you and hope you feel comfort soon. Many hugs to you.

Milo and Alfie Marshall said...

Never feel guilty about loving animals so much ... I would be the same if my fur babies perished. Sending you love and strength and hoping you can come through this for your precious little survivors. We all know you did your best to save your fur angels who are now at the Bridge ~ and they will know that too. Blessings to you all. xxxxxxxx

2browndawgs said...

What a nightmare. Fire is my worst fear. I can't know for sure, but I suspect your beloved 5 would not have wanted you or anyone else to be hurt or killed trying to save them. Dogs are like that.

Hoping for better days for you and your family.

Bobbi said...

Just got here from Tweedles blog. My heart is breaking.. I will be praying for your family. So-so sorry about your loss. Crying with you... ((HUGS))

Mack said...

Guys, we love you so much.
We just heard the news and want you to know we think you you are the most awesome family ever to give your pack such a wonderful home. The pups know you did everything humanly possible to save them. Remember, it's not goodbye, just "see-ya-later".
All our hugs and kisses,
Mack and family

Sharon Wagner said...

My Mom died years ago and her funeral was sadly on what would have been my wedding day. When I told one of my friends that we would not be married for our new reception date she thought that was weird. I'll just never forget her uncaring reaction. We also buried our cat on property that we new we would always own so we can visit her. I'm so sorry for your tragedy.

the_Dogfather said...

this is heart-wrenching news, please stay strong for the pups left behind. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Fred said...

Our hearts are breaking for you, and we can't even imagine how much you're hurting right now. Thoughts and prayers with you all, and, at the very least, you know you have this community out here supporting you!

NORWOOD UNLEASHED said...

One day and one step at time. We are all here for you. You did all you could do, take time to grieve. No rush.
norwood and debi

Stephanie @ Blonde Highlights said...

Oh my gosh! I am thinking of you at such a horrible time. I know your angels know that you did everything you could for them, and they are glad that YOU are safe.

Keeping you all in my prayers! Stephanie and Jacques-Imo

Meredith LeBlanc said...

We're sending you lots of love ~ we can't begin to imagine your pain but we hold you in our hearts.

We also pray for those who don't fully comprehend the loss of our dear angels that someday they may know the love we are so blessed with.

♥♥♥
Meredith & Scarlet

MadameMoiselle said...

Our prayers are with you and I can't thank you enough for going all those angela the life that they could never ever repay you for...

Please do not be so hard on yourself. We believe your sweet angels are now in the arms of the mighty god and they are all looking down on you..

Love
Zelle and family

TK and Squashies said...

I have been where you are. And I know there is nothing anyone can say that will make the agony that is in your broken heart go away. But remember this:
Those dear ones learned "love" from you. Some for the first time in their lives. The concept of love. The surrender of love. And the joy of true, unconditional love.
I don't say this in the sense that most do. I believe that knowing love in this life, helps us better understand and accept the total absorption of Love in the world to come. Without it, I believe one can become lost for a time. The length of that time, (not time in our measure,) depends on the amount of hurt one has in the soul.
Perhaps, given the nature of the fire, your total inability to rescue your beloveds, the Intent was for you to prepare them for the next Life. Perhaps you are God's Mercy at work, here on Earth.
When I read your posts, and see your works- I am very Very sure of this.

May God extend his Mercy to you, in the gift of understanding of His Merciful work, through you, to the babies that you have lost.

God Bless You.

The Whitfields said...

You don't know me but I'm a follower of your blog and it absolutely broke my heart when I read about the fire. No words can express what you're going through I'm certain, but you gave your dogs a home, love, security and safety. While it doesn't take away the pain, you can know they're in Heaven watching over you. That much is certain! You gave them each a better life and made their lives better. I am praying for you this month and know that God is with you!

Jbenz said...

>>hugz and prayers for you<< i'm so sorry to hear of your loss...i found out through Corbin...i hope the pain you're feeling gets less with time...en jo y the memories and thank God for the blessings you do still have...
Love from upstate NY
Jbenz

TK and Squashies said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
snoopy@snoopysdogblog said...

You are all in our thoughts,

Your pal Snoopy

Patty said...

:hug:

brooke said...

Your neighbor sounds like a biatch. Sorry to say. How you choose to mourn for your pets is your own business and she has no right to judge you. She must not have pets. Know that all of us are here for you whether we know you or not. The loss you have gone through is felt by all of us and we are all here to support you.
big Hugs and giant Dane kisses to you all!

raisingdaisy said...

I can't tell you how my heart goes out to you. I know these words are so lame in the face of what you're enduring, but I don't think there are any words to express such devastation. I wish there was some way to help ease this pain and horrific memory. Yes, one day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time, is the only way to move forward. Don't come down on yourself for the pain you feel, it's only natural and will take time to ease. You are in our prayers and our thoughts are with you.

shanendoah@life by pets said...

There are no words. I am so sorry for your loss doesn't seem adequate, but it's all I've got.
Your dogs knew you loved them. You showed it to them every day. And they know (as does everyone else) that you did all you could.
I wish I could do more than express my condolences. But please know you and your family are in the hearts of pet lovers everywhere.

Molls @ O hushed October morning mild said...

You did everything you could and more for your babies. I can't even begin to come up with the right words or imagine your pain. Please know your family and your sweet babies are in my prayers and thoughts always.
Molly

HoundDogMom said...

Continue to hold you in my heart, thoughts and prayers. Sending you some cyber {{HUGS}} today. Sniffs, The HoundDogs and Sherri

Eden said...

keeping you all in my prayers, your neighbor may think whatever she (they) wants, i wish everyone were as 'weird' as you! as your thoughts are very normal sounding to me, and their thoughts very wrong and weird.

Nibs said...

I'm so, so, so sorry, more sorry than I could ever express to hear of this, I'm in floods of tears for you, You are in our prayers and in our hearts at this time xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

scottiechronicles.com said...

Sandra, Stuart's peep here. Avoid that neighbor like the plague. People who feel the way she does are not true people. And they certainly aren't friends.

Real people feel the way you do. I wish I could take your pain away. All I can do is send you good wishes and pray that you feel the strength and love from this group of Blogville friends.

Peace.

Kirsten (peacefuldog) said...

Lots of hugs and warmth in this unbelievably difficult time. I hope you remember all the good you bring to the world and know that you did absolutely everything you could. I'm so glad you're still here.

Madi and Mom said...

Dear Sandra and family,
Mom and are are heartbroken to read about your horrific loss.
We send your purrs and hugs daily
Hugs Madi and Mom

Holly and Khady said...

No one but fellow animal lovers can understand what you are going through with wanting them near you always. They are our children, and having them anywhere else is unthinkable.

We think about you all the time and can only send our prayers and cyber hugs to you. We put the donation link on our sidebar. We cannot imagine the pain you are going through, but please know there are SO many out there who care and will keep on caring and will be here for you through all this.

Many hugs and prayers
Holly, Khady Lynn, and the rest of the crew

K9 Katastrophie said...

You did everything possible. I am sure that the dogs know that. They are probably up in Heaven looking down and saying "What a wonderful mother we have". They love you so much.

Your neighbors seems to have never had a true connection with a dog. She just doesn't understand. You have been gifted with something so incredible: a true God-given bond between dog and human.

Sandra, We are here for you. We love you and are praying for you. I am praying that this heavy weight on your heart will be eased.

Please remember that God was with you, right by your side when you were hearing your dogs barking inside. He was there and He was crying with you. He is crying with you while you remember that horrible night. He mourns with you for your precious dogs. And one day "He will wipe away your every tear." Rv 7:17

Love,
Kim

And "because of the tender mercy of our God...the rising sun will come to us from heaven" Lk 1:78

Amber said...

I found this poem several months ago, I hope it brings you some solace.

"Do not stand at my urn and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle Autumn's rain.

When you wake in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my urn and cry,
I am not there, I did not die."

- Mary Elizabeth Frye

Tammy said...

I'm coming from Pat's at Critter Alley. Every pet lover would feel your pain, and I hope having us share your grief somehow lightens the load for you. You would have died if you'd gone back in, and dying wouldn't have helped anyone, but bless your heart for caring so. I'm sure they know how lucky they were to have had such a wonderful dog mom. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your loved ones.

Alittlesprite said...

You mustn't blame yourself, you did everything you could. So very sorry for your loss. Take all the time you need to grieve, and know that many people are thinking of you.

Lisa Ricard Claro said...

I just learned of your tragedy from Pat at Critter Alley. I'm so very sorry for your loss and can only imagine the grief and horror you feel. Will keep you in my prayers.

Patrice said...

Our hearts break for you and your family. I cannot even imagine the pain in your heart and no words that I type here will ever be able to express what I want to say to you. Please know that we are praying for you and I would love to slap that neighbor senseless. I would want my babies right there with me as well!! God was needing more angels in heaven so he called your babies home. It's so hard for us to wrap our brain and hearts around that, but I hope that brings some peace to you!

Love, Patrice & Higgins
http://www.theadventuresofhiggins.blogspot.com/

LP said...

We know you did all you could to get to them. Please don't beat yourself up over that. It was their time. We will never know why.Why you. Why them. Why now .Those are questions none of us can answer.We are so glad you have buried them on your property.That was such a good decision to make. Now you can visit them.Place flowers on their graves. Do everything that is necessary to heal your heart.There is nothing weird about that.You loved them and you have lost them.There is no shame in loving. Take all the time you need to mourn them but never forget what was saved.

Love,
the critters in The Cottage and their Mama LP XOXOXOXO

Trixie, Lily, and Sammy-Joe said...

We never read your blog until now but when we heard about what happened we had to come. We are so sorry to hear it and our Mama has been crying her eyes out every time she reads about you in another blog. People mean well when they say "let them go" but we know how much easier that is said than done... Mama still mourns for her doggies who died of cancer, and your story is so much more sudden and tragic. All of Blogville is crying with you for your babies. You should take all the time you need to process it and NEVER feel like you are crazy or silly or sentimental. But please don't ever blame yourself... do you realize that even if you could have gotten to them it would have been impossible to save them all. Worse yet, you could have been seriously hurt or even died, and no doggie would ever want that. They are at the Bridge now and they will always be there loving you, and never ever would it occur to them that you have anything to apologize to them for.
So many of us have you in our hearts, our thoughts, and our prayers right now. Humans all over the world are sending you their love. We hope that can bring you some comfort and hope.

sprinkles said...

I've thought about you non-stop since the moment I first heard the tragic news. I haven't stopped by to offer my support before because I just didn't know what to say. I'm sure everything I could possibly even want to say has been said before by others in blogville and much more eloquently than I could ever hope to put it.

I've prayed for Shelby since you found her. And I'll continue to pray for her and now for your family too.

I know you did all you could to save those dogs. I wish I could help ease your pain.

I don't know how you linked to my blog to follow me but I'm following you back now.

Jed and Abby in MerryLand said...

We've been away for a few days and just heard the terrible news. Our hearts bleed with yours. We are so very, very sorry for your loss. We are also very grateful that the pawrents and the 2-legger baby and 2 of the pack survived. Please don't blame yourself; you did everything you could for all your babies, and your 2-legger baby sure needed you to survive the fire and be there for him as he grows up. We send you all our love and hugs and slurps and will remember you and the precious babies in our prayers.

Jed & Abby

BECKY said...

I'm here via Pat at Critter Alley, too. I can't even begin to express how I feel right now. Reading your story brought tears to my eyes. I am a dog lover, too, and can't imagine going through such a tragedy. Please do take care of yourself and allow yourself TIME to heal emotionally. What you've been through is definitely like losing your human family members. I can't believe how ignorant and rude your neighbor was. Please know I'm sending you warm thoughts and well wishes.

jen@inubakablog said...

Oh my gosh... I can't even begin to understand what you must be feeling. I have no idea how I would do it any differently, or if any of us could. You did all you could, and your husband is right. Even if you can't quite let go just yet, you have to live for the two who need you now more than ever.

I sure do hope the coming days are easier for you, somehow... someway.

Much love from the Inu baka crew <3

Tena said...

Your neighbor has simply not felt the love and joy given by our dogs. They really are family and not everyone gets it.

Know you are in my thoughts and we know you can get through this with so much love and support!

Baby Rocket Dog and Hootie said...

Oh honey, We're just so sad for your loss. We got the Christmas card from you today and even our big, strong daddy teared up when he realized who it was from. We know you'll hang in there, as you have others who are counting on you for your strength and resilience. Our folks will keep you in prayer.
XX-
BabyRocketDog & Hootie

Rachel said...

I am so sorry for the loss of your family members. I just came over from Two Pitties in the City and this is such a heartbreaking story. We know you did everything you could and you gave each one of them an amazing life. Thank you for all you do and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Bailey Be Good! said...

Stopping by to drop off some more woofs & hugs! We're thinking of you all. :)

Big woofs & hugs! <3

~Bailey & Nala (Yep, we're both girls!)

scout and freyja said...

Sandra, I cannot imagine the horror you must have gone through on that horrible night. Please know that you are not alone in your sorrow - it is shared by hundreds of people who understand the love you have and had for your dogs. Those who don't understand - walk away from them. They don't deserve to share your heartfelt sorrow.

thepaisleyfox said...

I can't even imagine the loss you are going through, living through my greatest fear. They will always be with you and while their time might have come too soon and you may not be ready to take on such a challenge yet, think of who you can help give new life when you are ready to. I know it won't ever replace your pups (who could?) but once you've given your chance to heal, I think it would help yourself as well as a pup in need.

I'll continue to think and pray not that this gets easier (you never want something as horrific as this to be easy), but for your continued healing. That you come out of this shining brighter and bolder for their sakes and memory.

christinaree said...

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I know we don't know each other, but I have 2 doggies of my own and just reading your post brings tears to my eyes. You are a very brave and strong person and I know your dogs knew you were trying your very best to save them.

I don't every know what I would say to those neighbors. Some people just don't understand the strong bond between people and their pets. You have the full support of all of Blogville!

Take care and know that people are thinking of you.

tubby3pug said...

I am so sorry that this happened to you--it is an absolute nightmare you are in my thoughts

Tucker The Crestie said...

Sandra, please know that you did everything you could possibly do. What would Bella and Brinks and your human family do without you? And I truly believe that Guero, Shelby, and the others knew that you were doing everything you could to reach them. As for the heartless individuals who can only say "they were just dogs" in the face of such terrible grief and loss, they simply are not worth your time or energy. As Anatole France said "Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened."

Please know that you are in the thoughts and prayers of a great many people right now.

The Heartbeats said...

I may have already posted on this post but I am still thinking of you and your family and your loss. I truly am speechless. Love and support from SC for days and months to come.

The Heartbeats

Anonymous said...

Wanted to send my sincerest condolences...I know that you dont know me but I wanted to let you know that there those of us who read several blogs are definitely affected by what happens on the other side of the continent. Decided to check a couple of you r posts out. I saw the one with the dog who was skin & bones. It reminded me how cruel people can be!!!
Bless you for the work you do for the pitties. When I read the comment about slapping the neighbor, I thought that was a great idea! Do remember that the dogs all loved you & they knew you did everything in your power to save them.
I have 2 kitties & I know I would do everything possible to extend their lives. Hubby & I have had several losses in the past few years. Including losing my Mom's dog Nov'10. He was 5mths old when we married in '96!(tons of history)

Hugs & purrayers from,
Marlene, Sable & Tiki (in British Columbia)
ps We have 2 cats buried on our property & we dont even own it...tell that disgusting neighbor to take a hike!!!!!!!

Sue said...

We want to tell you how terribly sorry we are for your loss. You are in our thoughts day and night.
Morgan, Tsar and the Porties and Mom Sue

Bruschi said...

I heard about this terrible tragedy from Miss Kylie's Mommy. I just wanted to extend my deepest sympathies. I cannot even imagine the terror and pain you must have and must be feeling. Stay strong. You did all you could do. I know that we would all blame ourselves if we were in your shoes, but at the end of the day, you did do all you could do and your furbabies know that. Your feelings are totally normally. Just take it one day at a time and know there are so many out there thinking of you. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Christen, Bruschi, & Ebby

Katie said...

I just heard about your story from Indy Pit Crew and wanted to let you know that my pitty and I are praying for you and your family. I cannot imagine the pain you are in but know that your babies forgive you becuase they know how much you loved them.

Luvabully3 said...

So sorry for your loss. I wish I had the words to take away the pain, but I know there are none. Hug your two surviving babies tight and together you will find the strengh to carry on. Much love, The Schelling Family

Au and Target said...

We heard about your disaster from the OP Pack. Words can't express how sorry we are. We're purring for you all. Meow from Malaysia. Au, Target and Guido.

Asta said...

Dawling Momish

Mommi and I undewstand as do all youw fwiends..those neighbows awe insensitive and obviously have nevew had enough heawt to give anyone. Yopu did absolutely evewything pawsibull to help youw babies, and I am pawsitive that they know it and want you to heal and help youw sweet Bella and Bwinksie get ovew theiw tewwow and sadness. Youw husband and mothew and in -aws and deew hooman pup all love you and need you too.
We youw bloggie family need you to stay wif us too, we need youw humungous heawt. Youw babies will always be wif you and if you just listen , you will heaw them give you theiw loving toots and kisses and encouwagement and thanks fow giving them the most loving home they evew could have dweamed of. Please know that, please let us help you heal
smoochie kisses always
ASTA and Mommi and Daddi

jodistone said...

I have no words for you, just please know that people care and mourn with you.

Your babies are at the bridge and will wait for you there, know in your heart you will see and hold them again.

Never Say Never Greyhounds said...

There are just no words.... I'm just teary eyed and speechless, but I hope you find some peace soon.

Jen

P.S. I'm sorry, but I greatly dislike your neighbors.

Jenny said...

We are so sorry this terrible tragedy has happened to you. We are thinking so much about you and your family. You and your wonderful household are such an inspiration--just know there are so many people who look up to you more than we could say and wish we could take the pain away. We love you, and we are wishing you healing and love.

Melissa&Joel said...

I am so glad they are able to stay near you forever, and know that they loved you, and would not want you to blame yourself. Know that we are all thinking of you and the dogs.

Hang in there.

Oskar said...

We have no words that can help only offerings of our love & continued prayers.

Hugs & love,
Oskar & Pam