Thursday, December 29, 2011

my guero....my angel....


hello everyone
momma pibble here with another post... still trying to use blogging as my source of therapy .....i have returned back to work and that seems to help ease the pain if only for a while....i've had good days and bad....somedays it seems bearable and some days like today im a mess....
today i thought all day about my heart........my guero.........below you can see a picture that truly captures my bond with him.......i would wake up in the morning and this is what i would see.....
the most beautiful face on earth staring back at me with those gentle loving eyes....i stared into those eyes every morning for almost 8 years and waking up and not seeing them is heart wrenching.....my heart is unwilling to understand that i can no longer wake up to this ......my mind refuses to comprehend........today in particular as i was passing the firework stand on my way home i cried and cried thinking of my guero......you see he was fiercely scared of fireworks and would come cuddle under the blankets with me at those times and i would softly talk to him and rub him and comfort him as the night went on......we did this all his time with me....he was my baby......today just thinking that new years is coming up ....he is going to be outside under our tree....in the midst of all the noise and fireworks and i wont be able to comfort him like i always did.......im typing through tears just thinking of that thought.......below for those who dont know his story i have copied and pasted my previous post about my guero......the beginning of my love for this angel of mine......if you have the time please read on .......


hello there every doggie
momma pittie here for the first time i am allowed to post a bloggy of my very own. the most gracious and beautiful queen of all that is furry coco chanel has given me her blessing to make my special post about mr guero's beginnings.thank you, your majesty i will try to do you proud.


ok well where do i begin , , , , i felt that today would be proper to tell the story of guero since yesterday was his 7th birthday and it made me very sad knowing that he is considered a senior now.actually when one of my co workers mentioned that to me i got tears in my eyes just thinking that he is getting old.you see all my fur kids are special tome as you all know but guero . . . . guero is my heart. guero is what started it all for me. guero is the reason i so passionately advocate pibbles.before guero i never had a dog. all my life i grew up with cats. my mother adores cats and we all still do.but guero came into my life and completely changed it in a way that i will never forget.

if you guys will bear with me i shall start at the beginning.

i remember one sunday evening we were on our way to walmart and it was extremely hot as summer evenings tend to be here in houston tx. the type of heat that is humid and blistering if you stand out there too long.well . . . we saw a young couple such as me and my husband were and she shyly came up to me and asked if i would consider taking in a pet. of course we weren't interested . we had just moved into our first house we were renting and had no idea if pets were allowed and hadn't even considered it. i asked what type of pet and she said a 4 month old pitbull. she was almost crying and i asked why she was getting rid of it and she all but broke down right then and there. she said that she had lived in a house not too far away from where walmart is and that her neighbors had bought a pitbull he was just about 7 weeks old when she first saw him and they tied him up outside to a tree and she could hear him crying his little lungs out all day and night. she could also hear them hit him and beat him to be quiet. it was breaking her heart to see this beautiful puppy get so mistreated.well about a week later she overheard through her fence the man talking about the dog and how he'll eventually learn to be quiet with the beatings or else he'd stop feeding him until he learn to shut up. this girl said that she was moving out with her boyfriend that weekend and she could not stop thinking about that puppy. that saturday night as they were packing the truck for the last trip she saw that the puppy was chewing on the leash he was tied to.well her and her boyfriend sat there and waited and within 20 minutes the puppy was loose. they immediately called him over and put him in the truck and left. well needless to say she fell in love with the puppy but she had to find him a home because she was going to college after the summer and couldn't care for him.so . . . me being the sucker for stories that i am agreed to take a look at this puppy i heard so much about. we walked over to her van and she picked up this red little bundle. she handed him to me and i picked him up and looked at his face and then my world just faded away in his eyes. he had the most gorgeous Japanese eyes i had ever seen and he kept giving me his puppy eyes that i just knew were asking me to love him. he gave me a cautious lick on the nose and it was over! i don't think i had ever been that impulsive before. i had never imagined i would love something so fiercely so quick. just thinking that someone had beat this bundle of love made me angry. all these emotions going through me all at once. i asked the girl how much she wanted for him and she said nothing. she just wanted him to go to a good home and if she could please have my address or email . i gave her my address that i had on my id card and my email and cell phone number just in case she wanted to come ck on him. we didn't even make it to walmart. we went straight to petsmart and enrolled him in the vet , got him some toys and all the puppy stuff that comes with getting a pupper. when i took in guero i never even thought about him being a pitbull. i just loved him unconditionally because he was so loving. but i quickly realized that having a pitbull was not like having a regular dog. i remember the second time i took him to petsmart this time on his leash and now 5 pounds heavier. i was so excited to have my puppy with me and he was so loving and just loved on everybody. i started to notice how people would go out of their way to get away from us . we would get nasty looks and they would pick their dogs up if we passed by their isle. guero of course didn't notice any of this he was jolly and happy to be sniffing all the treats and food petsmart has to offer. same thing at the parks . mothers would grab their child and walk the other way, joggers would run on the grass instead of the pavement to get as far away from guero. i realized that people hated my guero just because of how he looked. i would go home crying so many times at the beginning because i didn't understand. why would anyone hate my guero? he was the most precious thing in my life and so loving all he wanted was to give kisses to all humans and dogs alike. until then i was naive about dogs. i started to research about my guero's breed. look up organizations that rescued these breeds and realized all the horrible things they had endured and still endure. i cried many days reading all the cities and states that ban them just because of how they look. i decided that with guero i would make it a point to start changing peoples minds slowly but surely. even if its one person a week , a month , a year . one person can tell one more person and so on. and so my quest began. i started with family and friends. everywhere i went guero went. family reunions . weekend visits.barbq's .i am proud to say that 5 families of mine now have at least two rescue pitbulls living inside their home and they are spoiled rotten. and they tell their friends and i hope the cycle goes on. out of my 3 best friends 2 of them have pibbles as well sleeping in their bed.
my mother in law who was terrified of dogs in general has a pibble who she loves so much he gets homemade meals everyday especially made for him..we still get friends bringing over their friends to see the infamous guero. everyone loves the way he looks and even more the way he acts. he is so loving and everyone you talk to in my circle of friends and family can tell you a story about guero . . i don't want to think about ever having him NOT in my life. just the thought makes my eyes leak as my fur kids say. i know that realistically one day im going to have to live without him that is why when i see our dear bloggin friends going through having to say good bye to their beloved fur kids it breaks my heart and i pray very hard for them because i know how much it would devastate me to have to say good bye to my fur kids. until that time comes i will cherish every moment i have with them. my guero changed me into who i am today. i was never outspoken about issues until i had to defend him. i never had a passion for anything in particular until i had to defend him. and i never knew how one sweet pibble kiss could melt a humans heart until he kissed me that one fateful sunday at walmart.
so on his 7th birthday week
heres to my guero , my heart




42 comments:

Ginger Jasper said...

I know how much you are hurting and it breaks my heart to read this but know how much love you gave him after such a terrible start he had in life. You gave him that love and he gave it back to you. That is beautiful and also a comfort of sorts. He was very loved and you changed how people think.. Hugs GJ and Carol xx

Team Beaglebratz said...

Mom Beaglebratz here -
Only got a minute before I finish getting ready for work. There is a part of your loving post that sticks out to me - the part about Guero being under the tree when the fireworks go off and you would not be able to comfort him. I have ALWAYS believed that once the physical body dies, the very best part - the spirit and soul lives on. I believe that to be true for humans as well as our 4-legged family members. You may not be able to physically comfort him but just sitting there, thinking about Guero, imagining how you would comfort him, he will know that and I believe he will be comforted and he would want to be there to comfort you too. No, being able to comfort him will never be the same but not you can connect with Guero in a way you haven't been able to before.

I know it is painful to think about Guero not being there - I have lost many furry companions over the years and one of these days, you will be able to think of the good memories and smile. I am so very sorry that you are going through all this.
Kim

Yoda, Brutus & Ellie said...

Our hearts are breaking for you...

We think it is good for you to use the blog as therapy - we are all here for you to lend our support.

Pugs & Kisses,

Yoda, Brutus & Ellie

mayziegal said...

After this happened, I went back and re-read your post about how you found Guero. Isn't it amazing how one dog can change your entire life? All the love he gave to you and all the love he brought into your life by opening your heart to other dogs in need.

I can only imagine what you're going through. Mayzie is my heart-dog and the thought of losing her one day is almost more than I can bear. But I know when that time comes, I will have to follow her example of appreciating how beautiful life is, even when there are things in it we don't understand. I know that's what Guero would want you to do, too.

And I hope you can take comfort in the thought that the things that frightened Guero in this life don't frighten him where he is now. In fact, I bet when the New Year rolls around, he'll be setting off his own doggie fireworks and thinking how he can't believe he was ever scared of something so darn cool. :)

Keep writing and talking to us, Sandra. We're here.

Hugs,
Amber

Amber DaWeenie said...

I truly believe that Sweet Guero is continuing his work at the Bridge...helping those left on Earth to be better understood and loved. He may even choose another like him to send to you in the future to be saved just as you saved him.

HoundDogMom said...

Thanks so much for sharing your Guero story with us again. I had not read the complete story so I enjoyed learning about his life and how he became part of you. Sounds so much like my Cleo, she truly showed me the way to my heart for a rescue fur-baby. I think your blog is a wonderful place for you to share your stories and hopefully provide you some comfort and relief knowing how much everyone in blogville loves you and your family. I can't imagine how your heart breaks at times, but know we are here for you. Sniffs, The HoundDogs and Sherri

Ina in Alaska said...

Even though tears are falling into my coffee mug I enjoyed learning more about Guero. What a life changing moment at WalMart that fateful summer day. How wonderful that he and you had absolute devotion.

I remember once hearing that all souls come to this life to complete a mission. Guero found you and look at his legacy: many others now have rescued pit bulls, many more now understand them better & many many more will be saved or helped because of Guero. Success, And he had love & a great home and he knew it. More so than many other unfortunate souls.

We will light a candle on NYE for Guero, Coco Chanel, Miss Shelby, Tiger & Lucky. And it's ok to cry. We love you & will always remember.

Beth said...

Sandra, This is a beautiful post. I have been a follower of yours for quite awhile, but not from the beginning. I know the stories of how you rescued Lucky, Tiger, and Shelby but not your others. I hope you will share all of their stories again.
I too have lost much loved animals. The pain is horrible, but one day it will begin to decrease, and as time goes on you heal and the pain is much more bearable...it is then that you can focus on the good memories. That is what your angel dogs would want for you...to think about the good times, and to smile. I know they are all so grateful for everything you did for them. Praying for your comfort, encouragement, peace, decreased pain, and restoration. You are one SPECIAL lady!
Hugs, Beth

Huskee and Hershey said...

The story of him as a pup broke my heart but I'm glad you found him/he found you and you had each other's company for many years. We can all tell how much you love him from the post.. My heart is breaking for you :( {{{hugs}}}

Sarah said...

I imagine that there are no fireworks at the Rainbow Bridge. Or maybe there are but instead of large booms, they are silent shooting stars in the sky. I imagine Guero looking down at you, wishing with all his might that you know he is not scared of them anymore. That he is happy and free. I am thankful Guero found you all those years ago and helped you to become the amazing person you are today. May he rest in peace.

Milo and Alfie Marshall said...

You don't have to worry about your beloved fur angel on New Year's Eve; he is never alone now as he will always be nestling in your heart. He was way too young to go the bridge, but upon death ~ it's whether we loved and were loved that we care about. And your beautiful boy managed both. His life may not have been as long as you wish it could have been ~ but it's quality not quantity that counts ~ and he had the most wonderful years with you.
I know how you hurt ~ I've lost fur babies I love too. And it doesn't matter how old or young they are, it hurts just the same. Blessings to you and ALL your fur angels at the Bridge. We think about you every day as you struggle to come to terms with this terrible tragedy. xx

Frankie Furter said...

Dear Miss Sandra,
When we learn about the Rainbow Bridge we discover that it is a place where there is total PEACE. There is never Thunder Blaring Horns Never a screaming hitting two legger and certainly NO FIREWORKS. Guero is not alone and he is in a Place of Peace and Love and unending Fun.
I am sure that Guero only has one worry. He is no doubt worried about YOU and how HE used to help you when YOU would be so concerned about the times when there were fireworks. I am PAWsitive that he left strict instructions for Bella and Brinks. THEY will care for YOU on New Year's Eve.
Miss Sandra WE have FAITH and WE sincerely BELIEVE in what our forever will be like.. once we cross the Rainbow Bridge. We will have PEACE. Your beloved Guero is in that beautiful place.

margareth said...

It's difficult for me to read your whole text because I speak english a little bit only. But I can understand your pain.

K9 Katastrophie said...

What a beautiful tribute. Sandra, let the tears flow. Each little drop is a symbol of your deep love for Guero. I know your heart is shattered. But you will see him again one day. He had such sweet Pibble eyes. Such a handsome man! He is picking up each piece of your heart and is putting it back together. He loves you. And he thanks you for saving him.

brandi said...

You are always in our thoughts. My brandi was a rescue who just climbed up me and purred and that was it. She went home with me. Guero will not be alone on nights with fireworks. He will be with you and your thoughts and it will be his turn to comfort you.
You have done a great service to this special breed, and we salute you. Courage, friend. Vent on here all you want. We'll listen.
(((hugs)))
Carol

Jan's Funny Farm said...

We can't add anything to the caring messages already left for you. We read Guero's story recently and couldn't read it again today. Our hearts are sad. Hugs, Jan & Funny Farmers

H Ski said...

My heart is breaking for you. I cannot even begin to imagine your loss. But I think it is great that you can write down how much you love your Guero. Just like all your fur babies, each one takes a special place in your heart.

Please know we are still thinking and praying for you. And we will be for a very long time. And please keep blogging when you can.

Corbin said...

My heart breaks for you every day thinking about the pain you're in. I can't imagine it. I re-read your Guero post shortly after all of this happened. He came into your life to bring you that joy and to spread the joy and the message to others. He will live on forever in the things he taught you... we hope you find comfort in that.
-Corbin's momma, Jenn

Two French Bulldogs said...

When we read your posts we often wonder what it would be like to be in your shoes. It is so devastating to think of what you are going through. We guess memories and pictures and knowing they will always have a place in your heart helps you one day at a time
Benny & Lily

Lovable Lily said...

Please know that there are no words we can say, that haven't already been said. Our heart is still broken, we feel your pain and share in your loss. Your blogville friends are here for you always! We continue to keep ALL your family in our thoughts and prayers.

BIG hugs from Upstate NY,
Lily Belle

Piappies World said...

Thank you for sharing us your story about Guero.

We'd be happy to listen to you share more stories about your precious angels. We are with you as you journey through this difficult times. Guero was indeed so sweet to stay by you as you sleep and be there soon as you wake up. He had such gentle eyes and we believe that Guero continues to watch over you so when you feel like them watching you, do try to smile to let them know you are ok.

Love,
Piappies Fudgie, Princess, Frappie, Mocha, Sugar, Wai-Pai, Wai-Max & Forgie

Tessa the Maltese said...

Thank you fur sharin Guero story again. Mom and I have never heard it and we is sure glad that we did! It was a pawsome story.

Mom and I are fury sad that you hurt so much. I will keep my paws crossed that your pain goes away soon and then you will only have beautiful lovin memories.

woos, Tessa

Southbaygirl said...

You two were meant to meet and be together! I'm so sorry your time together was shorter than you had hoped. He is looking down on you every day!! He will always be with you comforting you!

Penny, Velcro, Ceilidh, Jack Sparrow, Blossom and Skye

sprinkles said...

I wish there was something I could do to ease your pain. {{{HUGS}}}

Maggie and Mitch said...

Our hearts are breaking for you, Sandra! Not a day goes by that we don't think of you.

Love ya lots
Maggie and Mitch

Mr. Pip said...

Thanks so much for sharing Guero's story with us. This was my first time reading it. What a beautiful tale of love and devotion. You know what I think ...I think Guero is still there every morning looking in your eyes. Maybe you can't see him anymore, but I bet if you close your eyes, you can still feel him there with you.

Like Amber said, keep writing and talking. We're here for you!

Kristin & Pip

PoochesForPeace said...

Spuds made the same change for me in my life. its amazing how that can happen. and everyone we know remembers spuds because he is so amazing just like guero. my heart goes out to you! guero is at peace and is still in your heart even more so than before :)

PoochesForPeace said...

i like "Ina in Alaska"s comment about lighting a candle on new years eve. i will do the same. it would be cool to have a "blogger vigil" or something on new years eve where all the readers could do something like light a candle and make a quick post in rememberance of The Fearless Five.

Kristina said...

oh my DoG this was such an amazing post what a beautiful angel you got there ... just lovely your pitties were so loved by all means and i know that you did changed the world to many ... so sorry that you have to going through this kind of pain but i know you have 5 Angels watching over you that would help you ease this pain
many hugs for you and your family and your 2 lovely pibbles

Tucker The Crestie said...

Dear Sandra,

The photo of you with Guero touched me deeply, as I wake up each day face to face and nose to nose with the boy who is a huge part of my own heart, and many a time I have thought of the day that he won't be there anymore, and my own heart goes out to you for the grief you are feeling over the loss of Guero, and his packmates.

Please know you are in our thoughts daily. Sending you lots of hugs.

Pibble said...

How you changed that little puppy's life and filled it with love! And how he changed your life - and filled it with many dogs' love. He started something amazing, didn't he?

One day we'll be reunited with all of the furry loved ones we miss so badly. Until then, we live off of our memories. And you have so many wonderful ones! All because of a chance meeting in a parking lot. The right place at the right time!

milkathedane said...

Milka's mom here...

I' so sorry for your loss, honey! I cried and cried reading your beautiful story with Guero!

I've always been more of a cat person too until Milka.

Can't even imagine how you're feeling, but if blogging helps with your pain, go on... we're here.

I'll follow your blog and I'm here to support whenever you need!

Hug and kiss!

MC and Milka.

LP said...

As I was reading your story about how you met Guero, I was thinking how wonderful life can be with its' unexpected gifts.I believe gifts are precious because they are fleeting in some ways.Impermanent somehow.They can be broken, or lost,some times they simply expire.And yet, there is nothing like receiving a gift we never even knew we wanted or needed. That was Guero for you. You were that for Guero.You blew a new life of love and possibilities into him after his rough beginnings and he filled your heart with love and song.He was your precious gift from life.He is gone but everything he gave you will never be lost or broken or expire.Just look in your heart.He is there.Every morning when you wake, look into your heart and feel his loving presence.He is there.Forever with you.Sandra I think of you every day.I send you love, and strength and courage.I am convinced that all your angel dogs circle you each and every day surrounding you with their love.And that Guero is fearlessly setting off a few fireworks of his own in the afterlife in celebration of all that you gave to him.Keep writing.Keep talking to us. We are here for you.
Love,
LP and the critters in the cottage xoxoxo

LP said...

As I was reading your story about how you met Guero, I was thinking how wonderful life can be with its' unexpected gifts.I believe gifts are precious because they are fleeting in some ways.Impermanent somehow.They can be broken, or lost,some times they simply expire.And yet, there is nothing like receiving a gift we never even knew we wanted or needed. That was Guero for you. You were that for Guero.You blew a new life of love and possibilities into him after his rough beginnings and he filled your heart with love and song.He was your precious gift from life.He is gone but everything he gave you will never be lost or broken or expire.Just look in your heart.He is there.Every morning when you wake, look into your heart and feel his loving presence.He is there.Forever with you.Sandra I think of you every day.I send you love, and strength and courage.I am convinced that all your angel dogs circle you each and every day surrounding you with their love.And that Guero is fearlessly setting off a few fireworks of his own in the afterlife in celebration of all that you gave to him.Keep writing.Keep talking to us. We are here for you.
Love,
LP and the critters in the cottage xoxoxo

Deborah said...

I am still praying for you and when I told my family about your loss, they were horrified. My mother was too. You are still in my prayers. Keep writing, it helps.
May you be blessed this coming New Year. Please stay healthy.
xxoo
Deborah

Jed and Abby in MerryLand said...

We didn't know Guero's story, but we knew he was a rescue - just like us. You were both blessed to find each other, and he will always live on in your heart. When mama loses a furbaby, it helps her to close her eyes and imagine stretching her arms SO WIDE that they reach all the way to heaven and surround her angel furbabies in a big, tight, full of love hug that lasts forever. May God send you peace, just as we know Guero and Shelby and Coco Chanel and Tiger and Lucky send you love every minute of every day. And tell Bella the Nanny 'good job'!

Jed & Abby

Marley said...

This is my first time to read your blog. I saw it referenced on another one. Lady is crying her eyes out trying to help me type this to express our deepest sympathies. I'm Lady's only fur kid -only kids, for that matter, and she can't even for a minute tolerate the thought of losing me. Then we read your story. Lady is heartbroken for you. We want to remind you that people say stupid stuff because they just don't understand. Do NOT let those words sink in, but just let them roll off. Instead, listen to those who truly care. And don't worry about Guero and the fireworks scaring him -where he is, he doesn't need comforting! Instead, he is looking down from the bridge trying to comfort you.
Licks from Marley and Lady

Susan Campisi said...

I'm so deeply moved by your story - of how Guero came into your life and changed everything - and I'm shattered by your loss. Life can be so cruel. But a heart that loves as fiercely as yours also heals. I hope you find comfort in knowing you gave Guero the best life imaginable.

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

We hav come over from Asta's playce. She told us wat happend. We ar so sad for yu an carnt imagin the horrobolness ov it all. We hope yu can mannidge to turn ov the video in yor hed an stop seeing it all over an over by now. Me an the uther Bears ar sending yu lots ov healing hugs an hopes for a healing new yeer....
pleez be gentol on yorself, like yu wud be gentol to sumwun else hoo was hertin badly. Be gentol wiv yorself, an I hope yu can feel sum ov the love an sympathy an strenf an hope an hugs that peepol (an Bears) (an doggies) (an pusscats...) ar all sending yu from rownd the werld...

luv from
Bob T Bear

:@}

Susie - George's Mom said...

Thanking about you and your family. I wanted to stop by and let you know that you are all in my prayers.
Susie

Sagira said...

Aww...I hurt just reading this. I can't imagine how you are feeling but lets hope that at the Rainbow Bridge they don't have the fears that they used to have and are just having the best time playing and having fun waiting until the day they get to be reunited with their family. Tonight maybe try to think the opposite that the fireworks a sign from him telling you that he is okay and loves you very much.

My heart breaks for you and I really wish there was something I could say or do to take that pain away. (Hugs from my pack to you and yours)

Baby Rocket Dog and Hootie said...

RIP Guero. Jesus said there will be no sorrow or pain in heaven, so we are very sure the fireworks will no longer frighten your Guero.
XXX-BRD & Hootie