Tuesday, January 10, 2012

*3 smiles for mommish*

howdy everyone,
momma pittie here with another update...days have been going okay. their is bad days and good days. i try to be positive and try not to relive the memories as much as i use to. unfortunately my body is not cooperating with me as i have started to wake up with panic attacks the last 2 days. its pretty terrifying and i thought i was having a heart attack the first time i woke up sweating buckets and heart beating 100 miles a minute but after a while it calmed down. i think maybe because i was so scared to have another one that i provoked it last night with all my nervousness....
this is a process im working on and until i can fully grieve and go through that process maybe the panic attacks will subside. in the meantime let me share with you that the one thing that has calmed me down both times was to get online and read blogs....im sorry i don't comment alot but please know that i do read your wonderful and funny posts and they help me through the hard sleepless nights. today i had a not so very good day but have decided to turn it into a good thing. i came home and realized it had been two weeks since i bought dog food and knew for certain that we were on the last part of the bag until i came home and realized that since i now have only my two pibbles that the one bag will last me a lot longer than before...... i immediately cried as this realization hit me.....i got online and started reading your blogs and let me share some of the things that made me smile....

this gorgeous quilt is being made by WHATS HER NAME as she is so affectionately called. you MUST go visit her at http://dachsieswithmoxie.blogspot.com/ please and let her know just how kind and thoughtful her gift is....she is making this memory quilt in honor of my angels up in heaven. please go to her bloggy for more information. i would love for you to pawticipate and send in a little small piece of fabric to help with the quilt. thank you dachsies with moxie and especially WHATS HER NAME for taking the time and labor to do this MOST kind thing for our family.....
now these two are two of our most favorite pibbles ever to be!!! miss M and mr B along with their parents A and E of two pitties in the city have been one of our most favorite blogs for a VERY long time. we have followed them as long as i can remember them and admire them so much for all they do to show everyone they possibly can how wonderful pibbles are. both pooches are the very best of ambassadors and gorgeous to boot. today we saw this MOST pawsome article featuring this most wonderful blog in the chicago tribune!!!!! please click on the link above and read the great positive press that the pibbles received. we are beyond proud and beaming with happiness for them. please click on their name above to read their wonderful blog full of gorgeous photography and tour of their city. the handsome mr B even joins in on the photography with his own doggie camera. you definitely don't want to miss that.
now to something that had me worried to bits the last couple of days.......our sweet friends at http://cocos2cute.blogspot.com/ have been having a terrible scared with their beautiful princess lady godiva who has been having seizures and not feeling well. ever since i read about her health scare i have had a candle lit and prayed very hard so that my pibble angels surround lady godiva with healing pibble sugars as she is fighting her battle. today i logged on and read that she was feeling much the betterments and you have no idea what a sigh of relief that was....those news alone should help me sleep a little better tonight and hopefully i wont have any of the yucky panic attacks....please keep lady godiva in your prayers and send her healing sugars to keep the evil seizures away...
i hope you enjoyed my 3 smiles post and hopefully i will have more smiles to share in the coming days and weeks. thanks again to all of those still taking this journey with me.
with love and pibbles sugars


Anonymous said...

I am sorry to hear you've been having panic attacks. Those are very scary! I've been thinking of you and your furbabies quite a bit lately. Big hugs to you!

Ina in Alaska said...

So nice to see your post. Please continue as you feel up to it. We are glad the blogs are helping you when you need to calm yourself. We are all still here. Hang on - it will be quite a while- this grief is overwhelming. On Saturday as I was dusting the living room I said hello to Guero's picture as I polished it up all shiny & nice. His picture as you may know sits atop the table by Halle's cozy nest.

The quilt is very gorgeous!!!!!

Sending love & healing thoughts to the sick pups xo

Asta said...

Dearest Pibblemommish
Mommi and I awe so sowwy that you awe having those how wild attacks. I will ask youw angels to help calm you. I know they will Yeaw me..my Mommi wakes up at thewe even aftew many yeaws because many bad things happened at that houw to hew ,but she looks at me and kisses me and gets calmed. I know youw sweet pebbles can do that fow you too. We hope to stawt posting fwom Budapest as soon as we can. We will awwive thewe in a week, but won't have intewnetses wight away, but pleese know we always think of you and send ouw love
Smoochie kisses
Asta and Mommi

Two Pitties in the City said...

I have a big long email I've been meaning to send you and I keep getting pulled away. Maybe I will just send it to you in snippets...
We are so glad that Miss M and Mr B can be a source of comfort right now. You guys were our first pitbull friends out there (even long before we met any of our SociaBulls group!) and we have always admired how pioneering and generous you are. We're thinking of you, and watch for my snippets of emails...

Oreo said...

Sorry to hear about the panic attacks and hopefully they will go away in time. I am glad that the blogs cheer you up, we find that we enjoy them too. Take Care!!

Jazzi and Addy

Lovable Lily said...

Please know that we think of you every day and pray that with each new day the pain and heartache ease up a little bit.

Lily Belle

Unknown said...

We hope you continue to find smiles each day :)

Pauley James

Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

I think that the panic attack is a PTSD thingy and they WILL diminish after a while. Sorry that you are having them.

What a LOVELY post this is.
I am so glad that you are following the making of the Memory Quilt and that the blogs are giving you some relief from the stress.

I can so relate to the dog food part that you mentioned.

Amber DaWeenie said...

So sorry to hear about the panic attacks, but under the circumstances it's probably a completely normal reaction and will subside with time. Don't look back...only forward from now on. Your angels are watching over you. So glad that being a part of Blogville has helped you. We're right here with you whenever you need us...we need you too!


Two French Bulldogs said...

You sure have been through a lot. We are sending all good thoughts your way
Benny & Lily

rottrover said...

We, too think of you daily and send good thoughts. Any laughter or smiles we can provide are extra!!

-Bart and Ruby

Coco Bean - The Princess said...

i loved reading that you are have more good days than bad. your angels have surrounded our little Peanut with so much Pibble Sugars she has made almost a complete recovery!

Two Kitties One Pittie said...

What a beautiful quilt. I'm so sorry you've been having panic attacks. I know how scary they can be. Please know that Zoe, Freddie, Stella, and I send lots of pittie+kitty+human love from Chicago! You are in our thoughts.

Quinn and Angel brandi said...

Panic attacks are horrible. So sorry you have been having them. Please remember to rely on your new angels. They are here to comfort and guide you. Breathe slowly and remember them!
Continuing to send you many many (((hugs))) and nose kisses from a kitty (me).

Anonymous said...

I am so very sorry that you are havin panic attacks. Please know that your babies may not be with your physically but I do believe that they are with you always.

The quilt by Whats Her Name is coming along just beautifully!

Hang in there, it will get better!

woos, Tessa

Jans Funny Farm said...

Thanks for sharing 3 smiles. Glad you are doing better and hope you continue to find more to smile about. :)

Anonymous said...

Oh, PibbleMommish...this is why we luvs you SO much! Cuz even during all the very bad sadness you've had lately, you can find some things that make you smile. You are Most Special. And those are super terrific things to smile abouts!

I'm sorry abouts those dumb panic attacks. I hope they go away real soon.

Gentle wiggles & wags,

Mary Lou said...

I had to put my BEAUTIFULLY UNIQUE "blond"-furred German Shepherd/Golden Retriever cross, Shadow, to sleep on June 15th, 2010. And, now, even though I have Rose, Shadow is STILL missed. I STILL think about her.
ALLOW yourself to grieve, Sandra. DO NOT fight the tears, and emotions which you feel. They are COMPLETELY NORMAL. In my experience, if you TRY to be brave, then pre-existing grief will only come back and haunt your thoughts.
You are a STRONG woman.... Remember that.

Tucker and Lola said...

I am sorry you're having to deal with the panic attacks, they can be so frightening. But I am glad the blogs are bringing you smiles, they do the same for me. Thinking of you...

sprinkles said...

I'm so sorry you're having such panic attacks. I've never had one but I do know they're very scary. I hope they'll subside over time.

When I'm having a bad day, going online always helps me too. Blogville is a beautiful, healing place.

Think about and pray for y'all a lot.

Kyra and Jasmine Danes said...

Dearest Mommish, we will slobber lots and send you all the positive energy we can. We are all with you, so we hope you will never feel alone. Our own mama knows well how you feel, and says whatever you do, don't withdraw from the world, just let yourself feel what you feel without any guilt and don't try to think of how you are as progress or regress. Thanks so much to all who blog: its a lovely community and it really helps those who suffer to know that everyone is out there!! Hugs and slobbers!!! Luv the quilt!!!

Pat Wahler said...

Continuing to keep you in thoughts and prayers.

Critter Alley

Maggie Mae and Max said...

We are still holding you close to our hearts. Keep looking for things that make you smile. :)

Maggie Mae, Max and mom

Lorenza said...

Sure I hope those panic attacks will go away soon.
I loved your post.
I think of you everyday.
Take care
Kisses and hugs

Tweedles -- that's me said...

I have been thinking of you every single day, and its made me happy that you have felt smiles in your heart- from what readers have shared. I can tell that all of our love is reaching you.
Please know that I am sending smiles in some magic bubbles to warm your heart. Your babies gave them to me to send to you. Look for them in the sky.
And I will pray with my crossed paws that the panic scarys do not come anymore.
tweedles - your cupcake

Rubie and Poots (her Mum) said...

Given what you have been through we think the panic attacks are to be expected.....we hope your dreams will heal with time, they will. Sending our love,

Rubie and her mum

Scooter said...

I think you will find life will get easier. It might not seem like it now, but all of the love coming your way will get you through this. I love the quilt WHN is making and I know it will bring you a lot of joy. Take care.
Grr and Woof,
Sarge, COP

A MilShelb Mom said...

What a great post! I loved the summary and got to see some things I missed somehow. :)
Have a fabulous week!!

H Ski said...

Glad to see some thing are making you smile. You deserve it. So sorry to hear about the panic attacks. But I can only imagine how you feel. I hope they get better with time.

I can't wait to see the final product with the quilt.

LP said...

Wow! What a wonderful, decent , caring woman who is making the quilt for you and your family. And yes! it is truly a beautiful, beautiful quilt.Something to look forward to when it is done :)
We are sorry you are experiencing panic attacks Sandra. We had a friend who had panic attacks after she experienced something difficult (the death of her mother in a car accident-she was in the same car). The attacks did go away eventually. She made sure she listened to her needs and was always kind and gentle with herself.She did what she needed to do for her singular grief process.We hope you do the same for yourself.Be kind to yourself and listen to your needs -whatever they may be... and act upon them.xo
We are glad that you found three things to smile about.They made us smile too! Thanks for sharing them :)

the critters in The Cottage xo

Jed and Abby in MerryLand said...

One day at a time, Sandra. So glad you are finding some flashes of cheer. Know that you all are loved. Any progress with getting your house rebuilt or repaired?

Jed & Abby

Maureen said...

We read this bloggy when you posted it a few days ago but got called away and never left you any words!

The HoneyBuzz and I wanted to let you know that we are thinking of you and your family every single day. And when we look at the stars at night, we smile because there are 5 bright stars smiling back at us and it gives us comfort.

We send you much love & hugs, Maureen & The HB

ForPetsSake said...

When tragedy strikes, it's the little things that keep us going. I'm glad you are here with us, and if anything we write puts a smile on your face, then hooray!
I'm a fan of 2 Pitties in the City, too. They always brighten our day!

Teal'c said...

I just wanted to stop by, say hello and send you lots of love and slobbers from DownUnder!

Teal'c and his family!